Thursday, September 30, 2004

not a bad day today... woke up at 6:00 to be at school by 7:00!!!! i was scheduled to write the law test by 7:15 so i would have an hour to write it but Mr. Gear didn't arrive till 7:30. Didn't matter coz I was out of there within half an hour! go speed writing! hahaha.. having no distractions helped too.. it was generally easy.. I guess... i hope... while waiting for Mr. Gear, I had a lovely chat with Mrs. Smith and Mr. Carmichael since they were the only ones in the school.. people slowly started to come by 8:15.. hehe.. anywhooo I had spare first so we went to coffee time for some coffee! hahahaha... meh.. that was ayt, then law we talked about the insane ISP we have to do! Crazy! that's a whole lot of work to do, then economics was hilarious as usual.. I am being asked to do a workshop on possibilities curve! hahahaha.. what a joke.. lunch, matt, aaron and heather jumped into matt's car and we went to pizza pizza even though I already had a lunch! hahahaha.. meh... i wanted to watch though but OH WELL! haha.. afternoon classes was okay.. philosophy was boring once again, then spare! YAY!!! mad cramming for the data test. Actually, that's the most studying I got for the whole test and it actuallyhelped me a lot. Stupid mike calling my elbows old lady elbows! Its coz they're BRUISED! meh.. data test was not as bad as I thought it would be.. it was fairly straight-forward.. what else... oh.. afterschool, my mom tells me that I switched to Mr. Colson.. She didn't even ask me if I wanted to or not.. she kinda just did it.. oh well.. IT doesn't matter, Mrs. Burka wasn't mad at me and I had a good lesson with Akong today.. so MEH!!!! Had a funny convo with Josee (Chouinard) today.. hehe

Josee : So aivory, I just heard the news today!
Aivory: What news?
Josee: you know, the news?
Aivory : What news?
JOsee: that you switched coaches
Aivory: oh! that makes two of us! I just found out today too! hahahahaha.. so jokes... JOSEE's PREGNANT!!! with TWINS!!!! soo cute.. she has a cute little bump on her tummy now! hehehehe.. meh.. mom and I talked about becoming a full member!!! That would make my life soo much easier!!! hehe.. thanks gie gie.. what else...BRIT PASSED!!! soo happy for her!!! hehehe.. skating is soo much lighter now.. and less stressful, it helps that I have a happy thought in my head that's keeping me sane and motivated.. herm... no more.. hehehehe.. that's my day!

7:40 PM

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Como Esta?

what did i do today? i woke up really early for some reason today.. so i went to school early.. hehe. miss carmichael pulled me aside and said that I was a good contribution to the class! HAHA.. what a joke... i thought she was gonna yell at me for my skirt or something.. haha.. meh.. hung out at mrs.smiths for a while.. no one was here first period! there were 4 people in philo! haha.. that was fun... herm.. spare, went to matt's house with drii and ryan.. haha.. funny driver then mcdo... i had to make a difficult decision about whether i wanted to get a fruit and yogurt parfait or not.. apparently ITS FATTENING TOO! grr.. hahaha decided to get it anyways.. boy was it good.. herm..data was soo incredibly boring...english was boring as well.. well actually it wasn't coz we were in a group and I was hyper, bible was CRAZY! we played games! hahaha.. key scramble.. that was hilarious, then calculus.. oi.. i wanted to fall asleep..

skating was much better.. a burden has been lifted from me so i skated well knowing I had nothing to lose and nothing to be stressed about.. plus I had a nice thought running through my head... rodolfo was funny.. he was like "aren't you supposed to be testing? and Im like "WHOOPS! OH DARN IT! I GUESS I JUST FORGOT!" with a really really sarcastic tone.. hahaha.. sooo funny... anyways.. i think skating would brighten up for me.. until i quit that is.. haha lets see how it goes..

confused?
11:04 PM

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

I just forgot how much I loved weezer's songs! Thanks to 3 degrees!!! yay.. matt has it now!!! finally... but now i can't make fun of how he doesn't have it! hahaha.. yay!!! Peas has to listen to all my songs now but I have to listen to all her songs!! including the hampster dance! hahaha.. that's such an annoying song.. but im one to speak since I force her to listen to dreamer!!! hahahahaha.. anyways.. im just procrastinating before doing english outline.. i probably should get started... anyways... herm.. excessivelyhyper today!!!! as portrayed in yearbook class! hahahaha.. very very very hyper! anyways.. thats it for now.. TA TA

7:08 PM

a typical day at school today.. pretty boring!!
yearbook... got some progress on labels
law...notes as usual
economics... GRR!! doesn't deserve any comment!
fire drill at lunch
Philo... notes as usual
spare... mcdo with matt for ice cream then back.. chatted with teresa
data... notes as usual.. and once i again i don't get it!!!

its sad to say that the first month of school isn't even over yet and school has already become monotonous! Every class is predictable... great... what's supposed to be my final year has turned into another boring typical school year... hope things liven up!

Go 3 Degrees! its the greatest thing! right allie??? hahahaha..

im gonna refill my food shelf tomorrow! anyone excited bout that! hahahaha...

yearbook after school was probably the most pointless time i have ever stayed for.. i was way too hyper and drii and I were pushing the rolly chairs down the halls.. YIPEE! hahaha... miss ng was about to like crack of insanity coz we were sooo annoying.. hehe Its all good!

~ when the last teardrop falls is such a great song!
12:12 AM

Sunday, September 26, 2004

another fun day.. sorta.. hehe... overall this weekend has been great!!! Great relief from the week before... today, woke up late! YAY!!! finally got the rest i needed.. then got dressed and picked up mike to go to Peoples... hehehe.. im dragging people to peoples now.. its great... I got mike, patty and matt to go to soularize with me! YAY!! it was fun.. saw simonelle, shona and chad there.. it was soo funny watching mike and matt dance around to days of elijah! hehe.. good times... after church, mike and I went to "accompany" matt to staples and choose binders... hahaha... lunch at ten ren's was cool too.. lotsa stuff to talk about... then.. went home and did nothing.. very relaxing day today! yay!!!! what a relief.. hope I don't go back down... (oh man.. i saw mike and matt everyday this week!!! that's really sad...)

YB DAY tom!

8:43 PM

Saturday, September 25, 2004

earl bales yesterday... very stressful and tiring.. GO OH HENRY! ARE YOU HUNGRY? EAT OH HENRY! ARE YOU READY? FOR OH HENRY?!!! haha.. sooo soo soo stupid... didn't even win a lot.. our cheer got me stressed and I was sooo tired by the end of the day.. OH WELL!!! went to the uni fair yesterday with heather, kevin, adam, matt, paas, ryan, lydia, lori, clare, alyssa, laura. Fun Fun... hehe... got soo many books and stuff but that helped coz then I didn't have to bring anything home today! YAY! hehehe.. went to paas's house yesterday too.. very interesting.. herm..

Today was fun! drii and grace came over at 10 and we went to the optometrist for my mom. Came home at 12 ish. waited for joho, matt c, aaron mike, ryan to come. We all went down together and that was loads of fun.. Univ fair was cool too. Got even more free stuff and running out of a queen's seminar was funny. We had our cell's on and we had them ring so each of us ran out.. hehehehe..

Great time with JO! I MISSED YOU!!! it was great just to hang out with her.. hehehe.. now everyone knows im not the only weird one out there! haha.. we were dancing in the subway to our songs of summer 2003! hehehehe.. it was great.. eating ice cream and stuff.. hehehe..

Fun walking around with matt and mike and jo.. hehehe.. all we did was mooch off all the free stuff! hehehe.. we literally went to the ones with free stuff after getting what we needed.. funny trying to mooch a laynaird (sp?) from york! hehehe.. didn't get it though..

then everyone went to my place and we watched swat! hehehe.. good times... it was a good break from my stressful week.. hope I won't have another one of those in a while...

UOIT has a great rez!!!

*forgot to blog about mike's boobs! hahaha.. he took two mr. sub wrappers and made them into a ball.. and HAHAHAHAHAHAHA


10:10 PM

Thursday, September 23, 2004

I have actually never been in this state of turmoil before.. never had this much stuff hidden in me. I have never had soo much stress in my life and so much stuff i had to deal with. I had everything bottle up in me that I guess it just exploded! yesterday was one tough day at school. I guess sometime or another it all had to come out.. It was easy to just put on a stupid face and be happy but I guess sometimes that can't conceal what you're going through. No matter how hard you try to hide things and keep them away from the world, eventually it will all come out. Through this though, I learned how many people actually care for me. I learned that I had so many people behind my back, some that I didn't even know cared for me. I've learned that so many people were there and I had no reason to hide. They would be there whenever i needed someone to rant to. Through this, I have had some realization of where I'm going, what I'm doing, what I need to do, and who I can depend on. I guess I need, like brii said, time for myself.. Just time to realize what I want and what I need to do...

Thanks for whoever was there for me, you know who you are... You are God's angels sent to me.

failed my test today... and I don't care...

No more tests and competition anymore...

8:17 PM

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

same hard to deal with feelings... i simply cannot stand skating anymore.. i don't enjoy it.. i don't have fun... reality has sunk in that i'm not going anywhere with it so what's the point of skating.. there really isn't any.. its just a waste of time and money.. HINDI KO NA KAYA!!!!!!! I wanna just break free of this non-escaping heck of a sport that has no meaning to me anymore... i shouldn't be in a sport that makes me cry.. I shouldn't slave and work soo hard on something that I don't enjoy and exerting that much effort only to cry about is not worth it. Test is looming over me yet there is really no point to it... I'm not confident when I jump, I pop excessively, and I just don't skate well anymore... Im starting to get Laos!

hindi ko na talaga kaya, kakainis! Si mama, parati galit ba sa akin kahit na wala naman ako na gawa!

What am i supposed to do? Should I just quit?

Tracy, i miss them!!!
*praying for you an ocean away
10:42 PM

Monday, September 20, 2004

I don't know what's going on with me... it seems like everyday, i just sit and break down and cry... for the past days i have done this... There's soo much things that I just can't stand anymore... skating being one of them.. I cry on the ice, I cry when I get off. I skate so bad now and I'm not going anywhere. If anything, im getting worse to the point that I feel like there is no point of skating anymore. I hate going to the club, I hate tying up my laces.. I hate doing solos, I hate the wind in my hair.. Right now, skating just feels like a hassle. Having my mom sitting there criticizing everything I do doesn't help either. Having her get mad when i have my hands on my hips, when i talk to others, when i fall, when i pop doesn't help. I just gets me even more pissed off! I don't know why I even do it anymore.. having this test on thursday looming over my head doesn't help either. there's so much to be done at school that going to the rink and skating like crap just wastes my time. plus.. school, although fun, still adds to the stresses, like all the hw we have to do in my limited amount of time that i have to do my hw.

I don't know. maybe its just me but crying seems to be my only way to let it out. I don't know what to do anymore...

6:12 PM

Saturday, September 18, 2004

HALOHA!

herm... skating stinks once again.. i don't know why I'm still at it.. I don't have fun anymore... it doesn't thrill me, the wind in my hair doesn't excite me... it has just become a hassle.. when i skate, I just wish I was at home doing my insane amounts of homework.. and I never ever think of that... anyways... test in four days... how exciting.. I don't care about the results, whether i fail or not..herm... man.. having two spares is fun but Im broke by the end of the week coz of all the drinks! AIYAH!!! plus i have to save 20 to give to patty (grrrr...) and 20 for the school shirt (GRRR! hahaha) can't wait though since its SPIRITUAL EMPHASIS WEEK!!! I need to get back on a spiritual high, ever since summer started, I have neglected my devos and being in summer skating camp did not help my attitude at all... Need to get back to GOD.

Im bringing patty to church tomorrow!!! haha... that should be interesting since he's a nominal christian... Then i have to spend 20 bucks on him! stupid double axel... i love that kid... he has grown to me...

I ordered black uggs! I get them on monday! can't wait...

I just re-organized my money spending with my mom to cut down on it.. I hope it works...

TIME TO GET BACK TO MY MOUNTAIN OF HW!!! (stupid teachers.. hehe)

CIAO

6:11 PM

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

HALOOO

school stinks... skating stinks... OH GRR! anyways.. school has been hectic.. this is insane.. its like the second week of school and already im feeling overwhelmed, and having my junior test next week isnt' helping much to my stress level. I am actually bringing all my binder and at least three books home everynight! I never used to do that! What a transition from gr. 11 to 12... one proud memento of mine however is the fact that I have yet to procrastinate... I am blogging right now because I have accomplished my mission of tonight's hw.. YAY! hehe.. I now have the freedom to blog... anyways...

I got 30 day contact lenses! YAY! I just leave them in my eye for 30 days and i don' thave to take them out or anything.. and they are supposedly better for your eyes (for those critics out there) coz your dirty hands don't touch your eyes as much...

Got an AE bubble vest! im excited to wear it althought its still summer like weather out there (although the sun comes out really late now and that's depressing)

DRII! WE NEED A THEME!!!

it was see you at the pole this morning.. it was actually not bad.. we get free caravel soaps! hehehe.. i left it in my locker so my locker will smell so fresh and clean.. hehe

School PIcture Day! how horrible... ryan, drii and I went for lunch at a&w then we walked around for like an hour and a half... we lost track of time so we walked so fast and it was hot outside so, naturally, our faces were shiny... before we walk in, drii was like, "watch it be picture time" and allie waves at us telling us its picture time.. GREAT TIMING! I have a shiny face, messy hair and chapped lips and I had to take my picture.... im SOOOO excited to see how that turned out...

economics is a drag..........The most worthless course i have ever taken......

Skating sucks once again...

this has been my most randomest post

MIKE!!! hope you're feeling better.... come back to us soon!

10:16 PM

Saturday, September 11, 2004

i have definitely been slacking off in my postings... since my last post, i have been to hong kong, started school and a whole bunch of stuff..

lemme tell you, hong kong is no fun if you can't speak cantonese.. let's leave it at that

first day of school was alright.. i was jetlagged since i arrived in toronto at 11 pm the night before... i looked absolutely horrible.. anyways.. here's my final timetable:

eng - mrs. lorimer
bible - mr. radford
calculus - mr. vermont
spare - mr. philip
law - mr. gear
economics - miss carmichael
philosophy - mr. gear
spare - mr. radford
data management - mr. vermont

yep.. there it is.. actually its pretty decent.. not hard yet.. and its bearable.. im probably speaking too soon..

skating is alright.. havn't lost anything.. just need to get my cardio up in time for my test.. (which i doubt will happen)

I had a full eye exam today.. the doctor put these drops in my eyes that made my pupils larger making things extremely bright (like paper i couldn't even stare at) and hard to see and quite impossible to read.. he's putting me on the 30 day contact lenses so i don't have take my contacts off for a month! yay for me! anyways.. nothing else.. my back is KILLER!!!

MIKE!!! GET BETTER!!! Im praying for ya all the time!

9:49 PM