Monday, May 30, 2005

Omg this is sooo cool! I'm actually blogging using my blackberry!!! Didn't think it would actually work but it does!!! Anyways... My weekend was intereseting. Probably one of the worst yet. I got into soo many stressses to the point where my body was reacting to what my mind was thinkin. Headaches, puking, cramps. Oiii vey. Whatever, its resolved now I hope. Well, I sent out invites soo RSVPASAP!!! This weekend I also did my studio shots and I saw the charlies angelsvideo. Looks pretty good. This has been significantly pointless and difficult. So yea, more later.

Tata
11:14 AM

Monday, May 23, 2005

i think im going crazy again!!!! what seemed like a weekend of bliss turned into a weekend of terror!!! Well, last week was quite insane as well. I pulled three allnighters in a row.. okay.. maybe the first two nights weren't completely all nighters as i did get an hour sleep.. but the night before prom i definitely pulled a complete all nighter. At least I got my data ISP done.. and the song... finally... even though the song didn't work at the actual prom.. anyways...

Prom was awesome!!! it was a great night.. the best prom yet!! lol.. YAY FOR RYAN!!! very proud of you dude! even though we were stressing.. it was all good.. nice and smooth.. it was great to see veryone look soo HOT!!! everyone was gorgeous... and it was great coz all my favorite people were all in the same place! lol... surprisng that I got prom queen! thanks for whoever voted for me! lol... well, honestly, i thought i looked like a mermaid.. even more than before.. LOL! but its all good..

afterparty was alright too.. didn't do anything but it was fun.. the strobe lights got me hyper i think.. lol.. omg.. i wanted to swim sooo badly!!! lol.. i was so close to just jumping in!!! lol. well, stayed there for like 45 mins then dan drove me home... lol..overall a great night! no glitches, no drama, no problem, virtually stress free! i love it!!! thanks for a great night guys!!!

well now however, there is stress! there is drama! there is problems!!!! this cotillion is driving me insane!!!! tomorrow is the pre show and id on't know what to do! and my videos aren't done and my mom is pissed.. and she's giving up when im not doing anything wrong! HONESLTY!! i can't deal with cotillion and my school at the same time!!! my mom won't even let me do my english homework without finishing this cotillino stuff!!! im like.. mom my ISP is due tuesday! she's like... ITS YOUR PROBLEM!! IF YOU DON"T GET YOUR VIDEOS DONE IM CANCELING THE ENTIRE THING!!! OMG! its like shcool doesn't even matter anymore.... w/e... if im screwed, im scrwed...

cant wait till philippines now!
12:43 AM

Sunday, May 08, 2005

I"ve had a humbling experience today.. well not so much an experience, but the fact that so many new thoughts came into my head making me realize that I have drifted so far away from God. I don't have the same relationship with God as I once had. I don't know.. i've been so caught up with my own life and my own stresses that I forgot to turn to God. So many headaches and heartaches over issues that could have been dealt with trust. Trusting God. Trusting that He knows what's best for me and He has a plan for me. I keep telling people that, God has a plan for you, God wants the best for you, and I keep telling myself that. But for some reason, I never really believed it. Well, I believed it, but I never really lived for it. These past months have been quite hard. I've had to deal with a bunch of things that I decided to take into my own hands. I tried to take control over situations instead of leaving it to God. God will do his will, i know he will. I just have to learn to realize it. I was sitting in church today and since today is MOther's day, HIlary Price was preaching. She started off by saying that she wanted to pray. She wanted to pray for those in pain. She wanted to pray for those who lost a mother, who lost a child, and for those who feel so far from their child that they might as well be lost. I started to tear up a bit. I've been so distant from my mom. I've had to sneak around her, and do things she doesn't know. I realize that I've become just another girl and my mom doesn't even know me anymore. ITs gotten to a point where her trust in me is hanging by a string. ITs on the verge of being cut. I realized that its my last year that I get to spend as much time as I do now. Next year, im pretty much on my own. I didn't realize how much I really needed my mom and how much she really has done for me. I took her for granted and I realized that I became that child. That child who is so distant. The child that she didn't want me to be. I decided to go back to being the daughter I once was. Become the child of God that I once was. Today, I was talking to her and she kept saying how she was worried. She did the things she did coz she was concerned. She's letting me go in the fall, and she doesn't trust me enough to know that I won't throw away my life on stupid things. I can't say that I won't 100% do stupid things, but I know that I have self control and that I know what the values of life are. I can make it, I know I can. I just have to prove it to her that I am able. Even through recent times of trouble, I neglected my devotions when I needed it most. My prayer is gone. I can't even get through my prayer anymore. I keep asking God to bring my prayer back, to no avail. I really want to be back with God. If youre reading this, please pray for me! pray that my prayer and my time will be returned to me.

Lately, I've been dealing with trust issues. Alot of them. Not only to God but to my friends. I've neglected a lot of friendships and I havn't been the greatest friend. Alot of people are starting to doubt me. I assure you that you guys just have to trust me to know that I know what Im doing. Im not going to just turn around and turn against all my values and priorities. Im not. Iano, I wasn't really aware of how many people actually care for you, until I realized that they've stuck by me in my times of need. Im just really sorry that I havn't really been the friend that I could have been. I could've been a lot better. I guess I was so wrapped up in my own life and taking control of my own life that I neglected to be there for others. If I have hurt anyone, Im sorry. As I try to get back on the right path, I will try to become my old self again. To those who have stuck with me, even when I wasn't the best person to get along with, thanks. You know who you are and you know what you have done for me. And I can't thank you enough.

-pray-
10:47 PM

Sunday, May 01, 2005

prepare for a giant post!!!!

im gonna mark each and every day.. starting from day 1!!!!!

Day 1
okay.. so we were supposed to be in school by 645 am. I set my alarm the night before for 5:30 so that I can get some last minute packing done.. but wise old me, i don't wake up. I wake up at 7!!!! 15 mins late already.. so panicked.. i got ready in 5 mins! within this 5 mins, i brushed my teeth, changed, and ran out of the house. It was soo rushed that I left my brush and my camera on the table and left without it not knowing that those two would become the most crucial things i left behind. GAR!!!! oh well. i managed to make it on the bus and a lot of other people were late too. FOund aaron on the bus and sat down panting.. it was crazy. Anyways... We left at 8 am and endured a really long bus ride. ONe of the rest stops was the same one as the one we stopped on for missions.. that was wicked!!! lol.. me, rob and tracy took a photo by that same waterfall.. lol.. oh the memories... anyways.. the ride was alright. A lot of bonding with aaron so that was good. Arrived in New JErsey at 5 pm. Talk about long.. on the ride.. i kept trying to call Jen because we were in Pennsylvania, but she didn't pick up. After unpacking in the hotel, we all went to Willowbrook for some shopping. I ran right away to coach to get my bag. lol.. got some other stuff there too.. it was funny.. We had to stay in groups of 4 but it was only me, drii and grace.. so we kept avoiding the teachers. Ate dinner at... CPK!!! oh how I have missed you. CPK reminds me of makati soo much... and shangrila... and all the times i used to eat there with friends in the philippines. The kung pao spaghetii, the peking duck pizza.. YUM!!! good times good times.. lol... we had to walk back to the hotel afterwards..and we sorta got lost.. so that was one interesting walk back. lol... lights out was at 11:30 so we got to chill with others for a while.. and that night was quite interesting.. lol... lots of events..I got the bed to myself for the first night.. my room had this thing where the first person who sleeps gets toothpaste on their face...who's the genius behind this??? you guessed it,, it was me... who's the genius who fell for it?? MEE again!!! great.. so my tee has a permanent toothpaste stain.. LOL.. my shirt smells minty clean! anyways.. so i slept..

Gemsy
I gotta talk about gemsy.. lol. she's awesome! very hyper.. reminds me of me... I thought I had my calling!!! I can become a tour guide!! lol.. she was hilarious.. she always played these annoying songs on the bus that will forever be engraved into our heads... lol.. du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du..annoying! but lol.. gotta love it... soo full of energy.. she seriously made the trip funny.. although she could do a little better with directions.

Day 2
wake up call at 6!!! AIYEEE!!! had breakfast by 7.. so we had eggs and bacon for breakfast.. it wasn't bad.. i happened to like it.. although the bacon could cut down on the grease.. overall not bad... we went on a driving tour to start off and we saw the buildings of famous people overlooking central park. BEAUTIFUL PARK!!! and it was huge.. and soo nice.. it was such a change from the city.. lol.. but i got tired of it after a while.. on the bus i was waving to random people and some of them actulaly waved back at me! lol... it was funny.. we drove over to the harlem market but i didn't get anything since the people selling the stuff were soo rude and they wouldn't drop the price.. oh well their loss.. lol... we went over to 5th avenue for the sony wonderlab tour only to discover that we can't go in.. darn ir elaly wanted to see all the cool gadgets.. lol.. walked over to trump tower and we saw caroline at the front! other people saw donald trump so that was cool.. did you know that they even had trump water????? it was soo weird.. lol... we walked around central park after that.. I had a good talk with Miss Carmichael.. lol. it was awkward but it was okay i guess.. omg.. there was this awesome girl in rollerblades doing spins and axels! I was amazed.. lol.. watned to be like that.. We walked all the way to the MET after that.. going inside.. me and ryan were more interested in shopping..but we didn't see anything we relaly liked.. so we decided to check out the art.. lol.. we walked soo fast but we managed to give each room a 2 second appreciation before moving on.. Best room was the modern art.. there was this canvas that was painted with one color and it was art.. lol.. i can soo do that.. afterwards... we took the bus to little italy and chinatown to eat at puglias... that was quite interesting coz this accordian guy came to sing to us and MIss carmichael started dancing really weirdly.. lol.. she's such a child at heart it was really funny.. so the food was kinda crappy.. but it was fun when esther started to put random stuff in a glass like coke, icecream, meatballs and stuff.. it actuallys tarted bubbling! kinda gross.. lol.. we went self-shopping afterwards in soho and greenwich village.. too bad everything was closed coz i would've loved it.. everything from dolce to coach and stuff was there!!! there was literally a coach in every town of nyc.. i love it! lol... got my mom's snow globes then we went into this little cafe to eat.. i was kinda down this day.. but i got better!!!

Day 3
had to wake up early again.. oi vay.. but... that's okay.. we drove to brooklyn to check out the brooklyn tabernacle. It was such a long ride.. but through this ride, i realized that i could manage my way around nyc.. and that i actually knew exactly where we were throughout the ride! lOL.... it was funny.. im prepping to become a newyorker.. anyways!! the tabernacle was gorgeous!!! it was soo big! i think it could seat like 3000 people??? we went to this christian bookstore afterwards.. but i kinda like mitchells better coz there's more stuff.. we passed by the brooklyn bridge.. but that was insignificant.. after more driving around... we finally stopped at radio city music hall.. we toured around. it was nice but kinda boring.. i loved how our tour guide was soo dry! lol.. she clearly did not want to be there and it was funny watching her talk.. so monotone.. lol.. the lounge was nice... and I had a little mishap with a cartwheel on the stage.. but i fixed it! lOL... i was kinda high.. anyways... we met a rockette but that was insignificant as well. Finally, excitement came as we were given freedom to roam the streets of 5th avenue!!! WHEEEE!! me grace and dan went crazy! lol.. first we went to lacoste, then a/x where i got a skirt (hot guys! LOL), then ferragamo, versace, nba store, hugo boss, burberry, then finally coach where i got my espadrilles and my mom's bag! we had to run to the carnegie deli after that only to find out that it wasn't worth it. The sandwiches were huge and not worth it at all! and there was a minimum chare of 12 dollars.. what a rip off. and the people were soo mean too... not a fun dinner at all. We shopped at macy's afterwards but i wasn't able to buy anything since people kept rushing me. Empire State Building after taht.. wow.. the view was amazing!!! I could've stayed there for a while longer... soo nice... made you realize how vast the world really was.. even though it was just new york... back to the hotel after a really rusehd and tiring day..

Day 4
Ellis ISLAND!!! not very interesting... and the statue of liberty wasn't that interesting either... but getting that lemonade drink from that giant statue of liberty cup was awesome...thanks dan.... lol.. that was gooood... herm... i kinda had a stressful morning from a phone call but i'll try to let it slip since its one thing i have no control over. We went to some pier after the ferry ride for lunch. That was one long walk and very rushed too since we were running late. We went to get a giant plate of chinese food when ryan and esther decided that we were going shopping. They gave me 2 mins to finish my entire plate before we started running down the escalators and asking random people where abercrombie was. Boy did we look retarded. We ran across the street and we looked like madmen looking for some store.. we found abercrombie and we had 3 mins before we had to be back! quite interesting.. i walked around so fast and found one track jacket that i really wanted. I rushed and paid for it.. and tried finding esther and ryan.. they were still browsing!!! aiyee! esther ran to the cashier and tried on the tank in front of everyone! then we hurriedly paid and then ran back to the pier! quite interesting.. lol... we were panting on the way back to realize that everyone wasn't there yet! ryan started screaming at me!!!! lol.. quite embarassaing.. we walked over to ground zero after that. it was such a somber experience to know that such a tragic event happened right at the ground that we were standing on.. there was a cross that was found among the rubble with a piece of metal welded on it... it was so amazing to know that God was still there among the mess that occurred. after walking around and taking pictures, we went to find our limos. Honestly, the limo ride wasn't that exciting.. i fell asleep.. lol.. we went to planet hollywood after that and i was not impressed at all. I barely touched my food!!! lol.. more shopping afterwards around times square.. i went with grace, dan, esther, robin, and ryan! that was a fun group.. going into toys r us was fun! and im happy with my purchase for mike.. we had to meet up before going to mamma mia after that! i wasn't kinda down before the show, but after a good talk and a great show, i was doing a lot better. back to the hotel for our last night of the grad trip!!! i was knocked out... so i don't remember what happened that night.. but i heard half the class was up! so i guess i missed out! LOL!!!

Day 5
back to toronto... back home.. no more bliss or amazing shopping.. back to the hum drum monotonous life of high school...

soo much drama.. so little time!!! I guess we're all going through that phase and we have to learn to deal with it.

miss all you in europe! mike! get better! no more nose bleeds... we missyou a lot!!!!

YEsterday was quite interesting.. it was such a down day, and there was a sad and stressful aura about the school. So many people had to deal with so much, and the only thing that I could do was to be there for them. Heidi, im always here for you! IM your sister and you can always confide in me! dont you worry about a thing! Stan.. im here for you too!!! let me know when you need me!!!!

Today i skipped school for my g road test!!! and I PASSED!!! lol!!! i had to go to the decor centre today to pick out colors for the new apartment! lol... soo stressful, my head it full of colors right now..

anyways... that's it for now.. i think that's enough reading for one day.. if you're even reading this! lol...
7:59 PM