Tuesday, July 27, 2004
since my last post.. i have
- tried my junior test
- failed my junior test
- anticipate my dad forcing me to quit
- actually discussing quitting with my mom
- quit skating officially for a day
- talked to my dad who's in italy
- been told RATIONALLY! not to quit
- returned back to skating.. and a whole lot more..
- let me elaborate
All last week.. i was skating pretty well. I landed most of my d. axels.. (which my life revolves around) did loads of clean solos and i was pretty confident going into my test on friday. I skated friday morning and once again landed all d. axels and i was pretty happy knowing that if i did that during the test, i would definitely pass. I guess i was a wee bit overconfident. I was hyper and relaxed when i got to the rink and I had a really good warm up. Landed all the d. axels i though that this test would be a pushover. Boy was I wrong. As I started my solo, I wasn't thinking about anything but as the d. axel approached a thought entered my brain. A thought that no doubt ruined the entire day. I shouldn't have even thought it! I thought "What happens if I fall?" Dramatically, I skated slower into the d. axel a little nervous and anxious about it instead of letting my muscle memory do its thing and allow myself to just jump up like i normally do. This time.. I allowed myself to think which everyone knows you're not supposed to do when you jump. (which i why i think of ice cream when i skate). So naturally I jump and FALL!!! and slice a chunk of my finger off. great.. so because of that fall, i was hung up on it that it ruined the rest of my solo by being sloppy and untidy and slow in speed not to mention I was bloody from my cut that my arms and hands were bloody and i was gushing blood onto the ice. Naturally i fail my test and beforehand i knew that if i failed, my dad would yell and possibly force me to quit. I was terrified to talk to my dad.
In the car, my mom and I started talking. We considered the possibility of quitting and how it was more practical since october was approaching and we would have to pay a huge chunk of annual dues at the granite. It was easier to just quit and concentrate on school and save the money that would be wasted since its my last year anyways. I thought about it, and I thought that God seriously does not want me to skate anymore so I agreed. I officially quit. Part of me was joyful but the majority was really sad. i could not imagine life without skating.. sadly to say.
I get home and I call my dad while being really anxious and scared. I tell my dad that I failed and braced myself for the worse. Surprise! my dad was not mad! he told me that its okay and ill just try again. He was so rationale! I was like "Put my dad back on the phone!" He talked to my mom and my mom brought up quitting and my dad was like NO! Even though my goals for you have changed that wasn't said to discourage youf rom skating. It would be such a waste. Just keep going until you really can't anymore. So.. i returned to skating.. in one day! weird huh? anyways.. that was the most stressful part of my weekend.
My mom, me and mike went to watch the bourne supremacy after. gave me a giant headache coz the camera kept moving!!! didn't like it too much. The next day, lemuel and willing went to ottawa but they drove me to enoch's church first. That was fun. We played capture the flag with a whole bunch of guys! it was me, melody, mike, hiu, george, enoch, hao and tim from pca but a whole bunch of other people. Anyways.. that included a bbq and a worship session and dessert! YAY! hehehe.. fun day.
Sunday: my mom and I were supposed to be picked up by karen to go to missisauga for a ballet with simon and xing. karen made me drive so i drove all the way to missisauga! Im very proud of myself. that was a fun ballet.. we saw a guys bare butt!hehe.. jo and I went to square one after and I splurged on a pair of capris that I shouldn't have bought. WHOOPS! fun fun day.. need to go shopping again! hehe... anyways.. that's all for now..
10:08 PM
