Monday, September 20, 2004

I don't know what's going on with me... it seems like everyday, i just sit and break down and cry... for the past days i have done this... There's soo much things that I just can't stand anymore... skating being one of them.. I cry on the ice, I cry when I get off. I skate so bad now and I'm not going anywhere. If anything, im getting worse to the point that I feel like there is no point of skating anymore. I hate going to the club, I hate tying up my laces.. I hate doing solos, I hate the wind in my hair.. Right now, skating just feels like a hassle. Having my mom sitting there criticizing everything I do doesn't help either. Having her get mad when i have my hands on my hips, when i talk to others, when i fall, when i pop doesn't help. I just gets me even more pissed off! I don't know why I even do it anymore.. having this test on thursday looming over my head doesn't help either. there's so much to be done at school that going to the rink and skating like crap just wastes my time. plus.. school, although fun, still adds to the stresses, like all the hw we have to do in my limited amount of time that i have to do my hw.

I don't know. maybe its just me but crying seems to be my only way to let it out. I don't know what to do anymore...

6:12 PM