It is my belief... that the truth is generally preferable to lies.

- Albus Dumbledore [Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire]

harry potter in 1 day!!! Saturday! can't wait can't wait! lol.. went to school for yearbook today.. can't believe its mid summer and i still went to school! aiyeee... meh..didn't do much.. stressed over proofs and annoyed miss ng long distance but that's okay! LOL.. stomach and back still hurts sooo much! i don't know why...

changed song to ruff endz.. forgot how much i liked them too! i remember back during the centerstage days how we were obsessed with ruff endz... i just realized how much i take obsessions to an extreme! is that a good thing? probably not..

I'm currently reading The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver. Wow, its honestly taking me forever because there's so much detail to it. You have to really focus to get the message. Its about the wife and four daughters of a missionary and their life in Congo during the revolution. One thing that bugged me was Nathan Price's faith. ALthough i havn't finished the book, this is what i got from it so far. Nathan's faith is enormous! To the extent that he believes that because he's in COngo suffering for God, God will reward him. The whole country is going into chaos and their mission help has already abandoned them since Nathan refused to leave the country with his family. INstead, he decided to stay in Congo without any funds, without any proper knowledge of the culture and with the inapparent danger becoming more of a threat everyday. His youngest daughter is dying, his wife is really sick, his other three daughters have suffered so much and he doesn't do anything to help. He spends his time trying to force Christianity to the people when it isn't working. Yet he depends so much on his faith in the Lord. Its like he abandoned trying in life because he believes that since he's doing a good thing, God will automatically reward him. Is that what faith is? disregarding all your common sense and leaving it all up to God to do all the work when everything around you is disintegrating? When faced with the choice of doing what you know you should be doing or doing nothing and leaving it all up to God what would you do? Is that how God wants us to be faithful? I found myself really thinking about this. I know i should leave my entire life to God and be whatever he wants me to be, but am I really willing to abandon all my senses of living? I found it really hard to accept this although I knew that ultimately that's what I have to do. Rely on God fully. When faced with a situation where everything is going downhill, like the loss of your family, job loss, disease, divorce, break up, and other situations like that, am I really willing to say, "Yes Lord, it was your will, and I have faith in you!" or will I think more practically? I know the answer is there but the action itself is much harder than I realized. I guess this book is really challenging me in more aspects than I expected.