Saturday, January 07, 2006
how did my emotions change over the past week? Why am I feeling like this? I should'nt be.. I shouldn't be. but why!!
everytime my age has a 9 in it, my mom always tells me to be careful. 9 is never a good number for my family. When my dad turned 49, we got into a car accident. something always happens. I have a feeling that this is a life changing year for me. Already I feel it. Every night, when i pray, i struggle. I struggle with offering my life to the Lord. Everytime I say it, i know i don't mean it fully and its really hard inside me. To offer everything, even the things I love the most up to the Lord. It almost hurts because I know that the words I'm saying, im not fulfilling yet. I feel like I'm almost lying because i know i want it to happen but its not. Is this normal?
Good times with friends in the past couple days. finally able to go out by my parents but even yet, i feel like im given the evil eye every time i leave the door. Oh well, Western tomorrow. Hope things will change again.. I will work hard... if anyone catches me skipping class again... SHOOT ME!
9:50 AM
