Thursday, January 26, 2006

wow, on my trip to kitchener, my head was opened to a lot of things. Just little things that really caught my eye. At the station, at like 5:00, i saw this muslim guy. He went to the corner, took off his jacket and placed it on the floor. He was wearing all white and he pulled out this white sheet. He placed it on top of his jacket and knelt down to pray. Yes, i know it may be a completely different religion, but i don't think I have ever seen any Christian publicly declare their faith like that. Everyone was staring at him but he didn't care, he went to do his duty. That dedicaiton, that faithfulness, just shows that He really lives for his faith. Sadly, I don't see that kind of faith with us. Is that what we have to do to make a difference??

ON the bus, I saw this other guy. I was humbled because he sat on the chair next to me. Put his heavy bag on the seat next to him. Then he pulled out a cassete player and started listening while reading. I thought, I haven't seen a cassette player in soo Long and here we are all striving with our ipods. I don't know, he seemed content and pleased. The question popped whether it is better to be content with what you have to to continue to strive for more knowing that there is no way to get everything? I know i may be hypocritical as I fall into the trap of all these things as well. But can't help but get you thinking.

I've been talking to some people lately about God will grant you a relationship when you realize that all you need is God's love. Is it possible for it to work backwards? like when you have a relationship, and neglect God's love to is fullest, does God try to tell you something? That's the way I feel. i feel like im sort of living a lie. Like although Im not doing it to the fullest, I feel like im compromising who I am. Changing slowly. Can't doubt the feelings I have, but can i do it the other way? Am I being taken for granted? I guess, drifiting away from God, God shows little signs that makes you realize what your actually doing. I need to get back on track and get my old life back. Right some wrongs and return to being who I am, Aivory.

After all this time, it still hurts. Amazing, but it does. Like a part of me was just taken away. Should I just let it go?
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need to take a step back and learn what Im really getting myself into...
2:38 PM