Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Jack Bauer Quotes!!! ... to start your day with a laugh
- If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
- If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".
- Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
- If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's frickin beef
- Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg.
- Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.
- In the 18 months where Jack Bauer was presumed dead, Tony Almeida was put in a coma, Michelle and David Palmer were killed, a major hurricane raveged the Gulf Coast, and Rob Schneider made another movie. See what happens when Bauer isn't around?
- What color is Jack Bauer's blood? Trick question. Jack Bauer does not bleed.
- Jack Bauer removed the "Escape" button from his keyboard. Jack Bauer never needs to escape.
- Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.
- When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
- Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
10:23 AM
