i am weak. i am challenged. i am torn. and I don't know what to do or what I can do but to seek God's strength now.

for a mere second, I caught a glimpse of what my life would be down a different path. and it was amiable. a path with value, principle, and trust. The three things that I am deficient of. Honesty and sincerity rather than deception and doubt. Makes me really question the candor of my current state.

tomorrow is one year. not exactly the appropriate time to be holding back. and it is much harder than I could ever have imagined.
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- all it takes is a killer hand -